the brief

raw silliness distilled into a song about the world of competitive ballroom dance, a topic — ironically — on which the channel knows next to absolutely nothing

Double Dutch by Jesse Cook was a track I'd found and put on the 'maybes' list sometime in 2020. It was energetic and boppy and I just liked it. But it was complex and I wasn't at all sure it would become a karosong.

Nothing happened with it until early November 2021, when the 4.1 set identified itself, and Double Dutch was among its asynchronous tracks. It was one of several tracks in the set that I sensed 'karo' was eager to play around with.

we're here for the competition
we're here to win the prize
we gonna sweep the floor with you folks
nothing personal it's just we're the best you ever seen

It was the 50th karosong to start channeling, the 14th asynchronous collaboration with Jesse Cook, and the 8th funi-flavour ditty. One of the funner ones.

The song came quickly. At first anyways. I got the title and the song's gist almost right away, then the pattern of the choruses (but not the actual lyrics) within a few weeks. I got that it was a challenge song, and that the narration's haughty "we" was a troupe of ultra-competitive ballroom dancers who stalked the less-competitive regional dance circuit, convinced they could win the prize at any dance.

we're going to make it real simple tonight
you can name almost any dance you care
and we'll not only show you how to do it right
we'll take your trophy home with us

there's just one dance we won't do
and that's the loup de loup

no we won't loup de loup
we won't loupa da loupy loup
we won't loupa da loup loup loup
we won't loupa da loofah loo
we won't loupa da loofah loopah loo
cause that's just for w-w-wolves

This was the second lockdown winter on Lake Erie, the winter I got to know my cardiac condition. I was channeling sub-vocally and had the large structure of the song by the end of February, and knew it featured an extended opening credits that led directly into the 1st verse (similar to Brick walls in the 3.2 set).

I pretty much knew the first two verses as well, but the 3rd and 4th verses were blank. I sensed they would be filled with one- or two-line puns playing on dance names.*

And there was a bridge to cross with lyrics along the way.

Of course, you had to get there first. But this song stalled out, like several of the other 4.1 songs did at the same time. Very little changed for months, from the spring, through summer and into the fall.

so just to be really clear
it really doesn't matter what you choose
you're going to lose

say you name the waltz
thinking to steal a step on us that way
well 1-2-3, 1-2-3, 1-2-3
across the floor

we're so good you'll swear we're floating
cause we are

I did get the pattern of the missing verses as 'ta da dees' in the spring, and came to sense the bridge as a challenge to 'make up your mind and get on with it'. It reminded me of the female voice in Meatloaf's Paradise by the Dashboard Light and I consciously patterned my singing on that voice, using it to model the arrogant haughtiness the song increasingly demanded.

well boy what's it gonna be
what do you wanna see?
well? well?

no! we already said

we won't loup de loup
we won't loupa da loupy loup
we won't loupa da loup loup loup
we won't loupa da loofah loo
we won't loupa da loofah loopah loo
cause that's just for w-w-wolves

But the two missing verses barely developed. Over the summer, I'd graduated from singing them as 'ta da dees' to using placeholder lyrics that approximated the pattern and expected delivery. Each verse seemed to be a triplet of doublets, basically three two-line puns. Then I got the third doublet in each verse and thought final lyrics were close.

Yep. Wrong again.

and if you say let's do the charleston
well we'll go all down dixie on you

or say you say the cha-cha
we'll say you can chew-chew on this

and if that gives you a headache
may we suggest a salsa with a twiggy twist

It was only after I'd re-started recording in Vancouver the next December that those two verses started shifting. I realized I'd been underestimating them in a sense, simply seeing them as throw-aways, silliness to pad out the async track. Now I saw they were integral to the song's structure. (Duh!)

The 3rd verse was largely as I'd felt, except that the puns were even more condescending and this further emphasized the dance troupe's arrogance.

But the last verse, after the bridge, was entirely different. Okay, two-thirds different, since the third doublet stayed pretty much the same. But I realized the first two doublets couldn't be just silly puns. They had to wrap up the song, tie it together. Which meant they had to grab and hammer on that arrogance.

so you might as well get used to the idea
we're taking your trophy home tonight

and it's not just that we're inevitable
like a dance hall borg
it's that we're such shameless hussies for gold
we'll even do a line dance

but only if we really gots to

singing

Singing this song was fun. Just a hoot. To my mind, it was a typical funi-flavour song with audacious puns and rhythms, cascading lyrics and fast delivery.

More than that, it was acting, it was the whole/full/on karo moving forward and interpreting the song as a performance as much as a piece of music.

The choruses were a particular challenge. It took several weeks to get their nonsense lyrics straight, then several more before I could deliver them consistently.

* I seldom do anything to try to pull a song forward. I learned back in the second phase to be patient, just to let songs come in their own time, their own way. But for this song — given my lack of 'dance world' subject matter expertise — I tried googling ballroom dance names soon after it started channeling, just to see if any might trigger some lyrics.

Nah. But 'e' for effort.