the brief

a song of love and great joy at first meeting a karma partner, becoming a song of quiet satisfaction looking back across the years in its second version

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The 1.0 phase was an intense experience that lasted the better part of two years, then ended with a painful personal breakdown. Channeling the songs was a significant part but not all of the breakdown's cause. Which in its turn led to new developments in my lfe, including a separation from my first wife Leanne, who returned to Australia with our daughters.

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Shortly after their departure, I rode a motorcycle coast-to-Canadian-coast, making the physical ride that would become the basis of the comic spiritual-adventure novel tHe PoEt & i*. While on that trip, my life was upended again by meeting Ellen, actually at a dance, who would become my second wife. And give rise to the 11th karosong.

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when we first met at the dance
the very first time we talked
there was something in her i recognized
there was something in me just knew

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but it was not until our hands first touched
not until lips brushed
not until our bodies fused
that i came to understand

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But it never did. The entire song — It was a gift — came through acapella. It was complete without guitar.

Frankly, that was just as well. The song had numerous vocal challenges for an idiot musant just learning to sing, all accentuated by the naked roughness of my voice. When it came to acapella I was no Billy Joel.

More like an Algernon Pidlius.

The structure of the song was pretty standard, three verses with a repeat of the chorus after each verse.

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it was a gift of love
such as i'd never thought could be

it was a gift of love
such as i'd only hoped might be

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Still, as badly as I sang it, I thought it was a beautiful song about the ecstasy of early love, and the joy a true gift of love can bring to your life. That was Ellen for me. It was the start of a 24-year long relatonship (give or take an interregnum). The longest in my life.

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Spokesong

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And sure, there were times we wondered, her and i
if it weren’t all illusion

and sure there were times we struggled
but that's just being human

and sure there were times we stumbled
but humbled kept on going for

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At the time, I was so desperate to find a way past my musical blocks that I tried singing the song into open source software that would 'translate' it into the MIDI format, which can be played back as whatever digital instrument you wanted. My thought was that way I could approximate the song's melody line and then . . . well, that was as far as the thought went.

It wasn't very successful in any case. By an order of approximation.

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while they were fewer
the nights could still
be every bit as much a gift of love
as much a gift of love

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And there it would have sat except for the start of the second phase.

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But not quickly, and not completely. The first two 1.0 verses fit Highland easily, with just a single chorus between them. But the third verse changed entirely, shifting the song from one written in the ecstasy of early love, to one written looking back across my (then the better part of two decades-long) relationship with Ellen.

that's not to say it's always ecstasy
and no day-to-day's not always divine
still you see the greatest gift of all
is love’s lesson number nine

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But all three verses together still only covered about the first two-thirds of Highland. For a while, I thought there would be a new fourth verse. But instead — following Yanni's musical lead once I managed to figure it out a few months later — the song shifted into a crescendoing bridge that led to a reworked and extended version of the chorus, followed by a noodling vocal extro.

If that's difficult to figure out by reading it, imagine how difficult trying to figure it out by feel was. This was another of the most difficult sections of all the songs to channel because it demanded the singer's voice I didn't (and mostly still don't) have.

I will be so thrilled when I hear either version sung by a real singer.

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that though we are two we are one
and yet though we are one we are two
yes the twain remains the twain
but it pulses with a single

gift of love . . .
gift of love . . .
gift of love . . .

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Post-script

Another 'waste not, want not'. Some months later, The Flame Within became the asynchronous partner for the 2.3 karosong Just could never feel.